If I could have hand written my own life story, he would have said “Lovely meeting you.” Instead of, “When can I see you again?”
For me, his words were half meaningful, half felt, as he opened the door for me and let me step inside a new world. I felt nothing. That should have been the first sign to run in the opposite direction.
So, this man that i am talking about, he chose to believe that we only had a moment in time together and that was all it meant. The days went on and in less than 5 months of our ‘not so committed relationship,’ everything started to fall apart instead of into place. And then i noticed he hadnt kissed me in a while and that bothered me.
And he stopped holding my hand. And holding me. And i realized I was dying inside because i wanted to feel loved more than anything in the world. Not by someone else, but by him.
If someone asked me today if he was cheating on me I wouldnt know the asnwer. Partly because I cant define what we had as a relationship. It was broken and messy and difficult to even call it a friendship. He never took and interest in my life and whenever I tried to ask him about his, he either lied or changed the subject.
I didnt know him. I expected so much out of a man whom i didnt even know.
If i could have written my own life story I would have said, “Lovely meeting you,” instead of, “I like you.”