Lovely Meeting You

If I could have hand written my own life story, he would have said “Lovely meeting you.” Instead of, “When can I see you again?”

For me, his words were half meaningful, half felt, as he opened the door for me and let me step inside a new world. I felt nothing. That should have been the first sign to run in the opposite direction. 

So, this man that i am talking about, he chose to believe that we only had a moment in time together and that was all it meant. The days went on and in less than 5 months of our ‘not so committed relationship,’ everything started to fall apart instead of into place. And then i noticed he hadnt kissed me in a while and that bothered me.

And he stopped holding my hand. And holding me. And i realized I was dying inside because i wanted to feel loved more than anything in the world. Not by someone else, but by him.

If someone asked me today if he was cheating on me I wouldnt know the asnwer. Partly because I cant define what we had as a relationship. It was broken and messy and difficult to even call it a friendship. He never took and interest in my life and whenever I tried to ask him about his, he either lied or changed the subject.

 

I didnt know him. I expected so much out of a man whom i didnt even know.

If i could have written my own life story I would have said, “Lovely meeting you,” instead of, “I like you.”

 

Advertisements

Finding Time

Its a hard thing, i think, for men to find the medium between family and work. We grow up in this world where men are supposed to support their wife and kids and work until they hurt, so what do i expect. 

but it is heartbreaking knowing that he can’t take one day out of his week to spend time with me. To just hold me, or listen and not worry about getting things done or what is left to do.

Surprise me by waking me up in the morning just to hold me. Call me to let me know you care. 

And dont sound so heartless when you are letting me know you can’t make time. You are exhausted, I understand. But I love you and need respect as well. So respect how I must be feeling right now without you.