Lovely Meeting You

If I could have hand written my own life story, he would have said “Lovely meeting you.” Instead of, “When can I see you again?”

For me, his words were half meaningful, half felt, as he opened the door for me and let me step inside a new world. I felt nothing. That should have been the first sign to run in the opposite direction. 

So, this man that i am talking about, he chose to believe that we only had a moment in time together and that was all it meant. The days went on and in less than 5 months of our ‘not so committed relationship,’ everything started to fall apart instead of into place. And then i noticed he hadnt kissed me in a while and that bothered me.

And he stopped holding my hand. And holding me. And i realized I was dying inside because i wanted to feel loved more than anything in the world. Not by someone else, but by him.

If someone asked me today if he was cheating on me I wouldnt know the asnwer. Partly because I cant define what we had as a relationship. It was broken and messy and difficult to even call it a friendship. He never took and interest in my life and whenever I tried to ask him about his, he either lied or changed the subject.

 

I didnt know him. I expected so much out of a man whom i didnt even know.

If i could have written my own life story I would have said, “Lovely meeting you,” instead of, “I like you.”

 

Love I Mean…

(unknown photographer)

(unknown photographer)

Last year something happened to me that caused me to look at my life in an entirely new way.

I made a very unlikely friend. Meaning, if you saw the two of us together you wouldn’t think twice by making the assumption we didn’t know each other. But we do.

He and I starting conversing whenever we had the time, which was, on most occasions, late at night. When everything else was quiet

We proceeded to learn from one another. We proceeded to grow.

And in that time we discovered that being with someone meant more than conversing.

It meant knowing that person well enough to be able to not talk at all.

To just…be.

To know that the man or woman sitting next to you wants to be in that moment with you.

Its a funny thing…..love i mean.