A Note To Him

I find myself missing you more than ever before. The memories seem so still and timeless, and I cant seem to shake reality from my mind. It seems as though I do not actually know how to decipher what is real and what is a dream.

 

I have failed.

 

Could my heart just be breaking for this man because his countenance indicates that his feelings for me were never true in the beginning?

 

I want to know… was I ever ‘everything’?

 

My fear is that the person I am could never match up to half the man he is, and I was naïve the whole time.  I feel incredibly embarrassed…to think he would ever touch me with bigger intentions- for the both of us. To think his words of beauty would last a life time. That the memories would still play over in his mind like they constantly do in my own.

 

My only hope is that one day he sees how much I do care about him. As a friend, a lover, a man. I tend to see things in him that I don’t think he sees in himself. And I am not sure how to get him to see the artwork in his smile.

 

It is true that at night I ache to me touched gently, to be spoken to with soft words, and treated with kindness. But it is also true that I do not deserve any of those things..I do not ask for those things. I could not ask any more from him than I already have. And those lonely nights I have to imagine if he ever feels the same way.

 

I do not know for sure.

 

Id like to tell him I really do want him to be happy. That no matter what, even if he decides to leave tomorrow, I will always support and respect him. He does so much for other people for nothing in return, and now it is my turn to do the same for him.

 

The Woman.

Image

 

As i was getting ready for bed today, I realized something rather interesting about us as females. Most of us are slightly obsessed with indulging ourselves in romantic fantasies. Meaning, our imagination takes new leaps as it reminds our heart of past events, or events that we wish to take place.

We sit on our bed at night, alone, touching our own arm and kissing our own shoulder, as we wished to be touched. And there isnt anything weird about it really. In fact, I think we just picture what we feel we deserve. How we want to be touched.

We want fire, romance, passion. And as far as Iknow.. even if we have that in our lives, we still picture it late at night.

And I wonder why we have to imagine these things in order for them to ‘occur.’ Have we really let our fantasy world overpower the real world? Why dont we take matters into our own hands and just say what we want and need in order for the romance to work?

So there you have it. Science dictates that men have what we call a more ‘active and detailed imagination’ when in reality, women do.